Worldcoin solves a problem that didn't exist

You ever hear about a company so convinced of its own importance that it builds an entire multi-million dollar product just to "solve" a problem it basically invented? Yeah. Welcome to Worldcoin.

So here’s the pitch: spend hundreds of dollars on a futuristic orb with a built-in iris scanner that allegedly proves you're human—because, apparently, CAPTCHA and fingerprint biometrics just aren't cutting it anymore.

They say: “Bots can identify objects now! Click buttons! They’re evolving!”

No kidding. But here’s the thing: CAPTCHA was never just about identifying objects. It was about how you interact with the interface. The way you move your mouse, the tiny hesitations, the imperfect curves, the weird human flaws—that's what sets us apart from bots. Not just clicking a picture of a moped.

CAPTCHA tracks behavior. Bots are still hilariously bad at behaving like actual people. That's why it works. Is it perfect? Nah. But it’s free, widely supported, and doesn’t need you to stare into the Eye of Sauron just to post a YouTube comment.

But here comes Worldcoin, acting like we've all been living in CAPTCHA hell, suffering, begging for a solution. And their big solution? A damn orb that records your biometric data, stores it somewhere you’ll “totally not worry about,” and ties it into a crypto wallet.

Oh, and Sam Altman’s involved. You know, the same guy already working on AI that's smart enough to fake being human—and now he's trying to sell you a product that detects if you're human. Yeah, makes perfect sense.

Worldcoin is literally solving a problem that nobody had, using tech that nobody asked for, in a way that nobody trusts.

Save your money. Save your eyes, humanity, and most importantly, your brain so that you can tune in to the CheeseBlog for another post. Cya!